Hey, Swannie, You Should Stay on the Political Sideline, by Norman Chad, aka The Couch Slouch

Note from Blue: Chad's column was just too funny (and accurate) not to print in its entirety. Read below.

Monday, April 17, 2006
The Couch Slouch: Hey Swannie, you should stay on political sideline
By NORMAN CHAD SPECIAL TO THE P-I

Considering we live in Sports Nation -- where celebrity supersedes substance and everyone likes to shake hands with a Super Bowl hero -- the following career progression should sound fairly natural:
Hall of Fame NFL wide receiver.

Pedestrian network sports broadcaster.

Governor of the state of Pennsylvania.

Lynn Swann, the ex-Steelers star, is trying to make the leap from sideline to statehouse as the Republican candidate for governor in Pennsylvania against incumbent Edward Rendell.

Some of you are probably familiar with Swann's work on ABC as a sideline reporter.

Do you know what a sideline reporter does? He stands on the sideline. There are three primary responsibilities: Give updates on injuries, interview the coach at halftime and stand on the sideline.

Frankly, if you were to chase runaway mercury out of broken thermometers at a local hospital, you would be making better use of your time than standing on a sideline reporting. And not to trample all over Swannie here, but he is just an average sideline reporter. There is not a single moment I can recall in which Swann did something so extraordinary on the sideline that I said to myself, "Yep, gubernatorial material."

Swann has been standing on the sideline watching football for the past quarter-century, and suddenly he's qualified to be governor of Pennsylvania? Heck, I've been sitting on the sofa watching football for the past quarter-century -- what am I, the next U.S. attorney general?
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Here is a list of professions that would better prepare a person for elected public office than sideline reporting:
Assistant night shift manager, 7-Eleven; apprentice dishwasher, TGI Friday's; driver, Good Humor truck; head masseuse, Playboy Mansion; groundskeeper, Lambeau Field; distant relative, Bush or Kennedy family.

Granted, it is not unusual for athletes to turn to politics -- Bill Bradley, Steve Largent and Jim Bunning, among them.

(Before Nero ascended to power, he had a chariot-racing scholarship -- a full, four-year ride -- at Western Roman Empire Tech.)

(For years, Charles Barkley has talked about being governor of Alabama, which makes sense, I guess, if Alabama is thinking of seceding from the Union.)

(Speaking of ex-jocks, I just read in the Los Angeles Times that former Dodgers great Steve Garvey owes countless creditors yet still lives a luxurious lifestyle and gives motivational speeches about integrity. Tell me this fella doesn't have "United States senator" written all over him.)

(By the way, I live in California, where two of the past six governors have been film actors. Then again, we had the late Sonny Bono as a congressman representing Palm Springs. I wouldn't be surprised if I turned on the TV next week and Ben Stiller was being sworn in for something.)

Anyhow, it's one thing for an underqualified, underprepared individual to stumble into Congress -- you can be buried in committee hearings there for years with not so much as having to raise your hand -- but it's another thing for that same person to be chief executive of an entire state.

Now, I'm just as wary of "professional politicians" as Swann is. Indeed, those holding public office should come from all walks of life; I just think the bar ought not be too low. I'm not saying all officeholders need to be the best and the brightest, but when you've spent much of your adult life under a football helmet or a catcher's mask -- that's right, Timmy McCarver, don't get any ideas! -- I don't know if your abilities are best suited to make decisions for millions of fellow taxpayers.

And couldn't Swann just start out running a state with fewer people, such as one of the Dakotas or something?

Besides, I'm kind of used to him telling me who has a high ankle sprain.

Lynn Swann - Karl Rove's personal choice for Governor of Pennylvania?

Question: Did Karl Rove personally step in and ask Scranton to withdraw from the Pennsylvania governor's race? And was his reasoning such that he has chosen to personally support Lynn Swann's campaign for governor? In other words, is Karl Rove now involved in Lynn Swann's campaign for governor of Pennylvania? Overheard from a Scranton campaing aide? Worth the press asking some questions of the Scranton camp, at least.

Aside from this, what are Swann's qualifications over the others who have dropped out? See Ask The Slouch on sideline reporters.

The Couch Slouch: Hey Swannie, you should stay on political sideline
http://www.google.com/url?q=http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/othersports/266914
NORMAN CHAD

Lynn Swann, the ex-Steelers star, is trying to make the leap from sideline to statehouse as the Republican candidate for governor in Pennsylvania against incumbent Edward Rendell. Some of you are probably familiar with Swann's work on ABC as a sideline reporter. Do you know what a sideline reporter does? He stands on the sideline. There are three primary responsibilities: Give updates on injuries, interview the coach at halftime and stand on the sideline.
(click on above link for rest of the story)
--
Fear, by Harry Truman
"When even one American - who has done nothing wrong -- is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth, then all of Americans are in peril." http://greetingsfrompennsylvania.blogspot.com/

Cartman and Cheney - Separated at Birth?

Just a fun film for y'inz (as we like to say out here)...

Legal Immigration versus Illegal Immigration

As our government struggles with the idea of illegal immigration, it's clear there are two camps. The first camp, which is the camp in charge, or Camp Swampy, as I like to think of them, would like the "guest worker" program.

The guest worker program is actually more of a "guest displacement of American laborers" program.The guest worker program will further feed the wealthy business owners and industrialists by letting them bring in cheap labor who will have no voting rights, and, when they're done with them, require them to leave.

It will displace equally trained or better-trained American workers at a much lesser cost to the shareholders. It will increase shareholder profits and those of wealthy CEO's who are bringing down the bottom line for their shareholders. It will displace American workers trained for those jobs.

Illegal immigration refers to those who have "sneaked" into the United States to take up jobs we say current Americans would not want. I find it hard to believe that those on the unemployment rolls would not want any sort of job, even if it were working in farm labor or for hotels and lawn services.

The argument goes that these jobs are too low paying for American workers, but there is a simple solution. Pay these workers more - a living wage - or raise the minimum wage, which allows all workers to work a 40-hour week and not live in poverty. This should never happen in this country, or any country.

Currently, the 1- percent at the top of the corporate ladder make nearly as much as the bottom 90 percent in their organizations. They do this by reducing insurance, by eliminating pensions, which our government now seems happy to pick up. The government picks up this corporate welfare while eliminating the more-needed welfare for those unable to work or working for wages that keep them in poverty. Perhaps a re-balancing of the financial structure both in the corporations and in the country in general is in order. Is this socialism? No. Not at all. It's simply the way capitalism should work. A fair day's pay for an American working a fair day's work.

It's not what we have now. We currently have an oligarchy. Is there a reason we should subsidize millions and billions of riches to CEO's and shareholders at the expense of reasonable wages for an American worker? Is there a reason that we should instead allow "guest workers" to displace qualified American workers at a lesser cost? More importantly, a living wage should be paid to all that work - guest or native workers.

If the government and industry STILL want a guest worker program after wages are equalized, then more power to them. I somehow doubt that the guest worker program will be so popular with Bush and the Fortune 500 CEO's.

And lastly, what shall we do with the illegal immigrants who are here? Pay them a living wage, too. If a company can not function on paying living wages to its workers, then it is up to the government to address THESE issues. Right now, it is the American worker that suffers on all counts. And many of our illegal immigrants who have been here for a long time and whose children are born here, are not going anywhere. Let's treat them and all Americans equally and with proper respect and pay for a day's work.